


I Know Who I Want (Take Me Home)

by cantbreathe



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, OT3, References to Hamlet, Sara Lance is Alive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-11-21 05:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantbreathe/pseuds/cantbreathe
Summary: Barry is a third-year college student, living with Cisco and Caitlin, his two best friends. It's the beginning of the semester, and everything is very hectic. Barry is having a bit of a love-life crisis as he finds himself in love with two unavailable people. On top of that, he finds that everyone's love lives are seemingly perfect. It's as though the universe hates him.





	1. Hello, Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning for this to have three parts. They should all be able to be read as stand-alone stories, but they'll be connected if you read them all (hopefully in any order). This is the first chapter of the first part, which will mostly be focused on characters from The Flash. It'll tie into Legends/Arrow, and Supergirl (which for the sake of this AU exists in the same universe). No Powers, College/Normal Life, RomCom Au.
> 
>  
> 
> This is this the first thing I've posted in a while, so please take it easy on me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello.

August 2017, Junior Year

 

"You're definitely over-thinking this," Cisco sighed.

Barry looked up from his notes to Cisco, who was upside down on their living room couch. His hair had gotten so long that it fell over the edge of the seat.

"I know, but I can't stop-- I mean so many things can go wrong here. My final grade is kind of dependent on this presentation," Barry looked back down at his notes, pacing the floor in front of the couch. He really needed to focus but all he could see was the stain peeking out from under the coffee table between his bare feet.

Barry was kept from going off on a tangent in his own head by Cisco's snapping fingers. "There! Whatever you were thinking of just now, stop it!" Cisco rolled over onto his stomach and attempted to push himself off the back of the couch. Barry knew this was futile, having watched Cisco try this many times-- the couch back was too stiff to make it happen. Just as he was about to get up to help his friend, Cisco pushed with his arms as hard as he could. This launched both his friend and the couch backwards onto the floor. Barry watched what happened next in slow motion. 1.) Caitlin entered the living room. 2.)Cisco nearly kicked her, but she moved out of the way deftly. 3.) She didn't manage to hold on to her mug as deftly. Then a cup of steaming hot herbal tea bit the dust, splattering all over the carpet and couch. Barry wasn't really surprised. The stain was going to match the one they bought the coffee table to cover up.

"We really oughta just rip out this carpet," Barry muttered, sitting down on the floor as Caitlin began to fuss over Cisco's blatant misuse of household furniture. The carpet was yellowing anyways, his brain supplied helpfully as he tossed his presentation notes onto the coffee table. He laid back tiredly, turning his head to face the original stain. He wanted to rip the carpet out right that minute, but he knew that wasn't the problem he needed to solve.

"You're gonna do great, Barry," Caitlin broke him out of his stupor, "Really."

Barry wanted to believe her. He was just having a hard time focusing. He thanked her and got to work helping her sop up as much of the tea as they could as Cisco righted the couch. They talked him into a much needed break of _Lie to Me_ reruns and eating leftovers from the night before. Cisco sat on the ground, as his furniture privileges were being withheld until further notice.

The sound of the door bell startled Barry; he waved off Cisco's move to get up and went to answer it himself.

The man on the other side of the door wasted no time, "Is Mick here?" Worried blue eyes glanced behind Barry as if that would make Mick materialize.

"Len? Are you okay? He's up in my room." He took in the other man's disheveled appearance, his concern growing each second. Leonard Snart was a friend, among other things. He had drive, a big heart, and poker face like a stone wall. But that didn't mean Barry couldn't see how off-balance he was.

"Come in, come in," Barry practically dragged Len bodily through the doorway when he didn't move right away. He didn't miss the look of relief when he said that Mick had crashed here last night.

Len shuffled into the living room, bringing in a bit of the early autumn chill with him. He stuffed his hat into his jacket pocket and gave an awkward little wave to Cisco and Caitlin. They waved back but, shared a look between themselves. His roommates didn't approve of Snart; they thought he was a bad influence. He was just about to graduate a semester earlier than planned, and was on his way to grad school. That doesn't seem like a bad influence at all to Barry, but if you throw in a history of arrest and delinquency. Well, Cisco and Caitlin were good people, they just weren't good at hiding their judgement.

"Did you want to go up and see him?" Barry suggested. Len wasted no time skirting the edge of the living room towards the staircase.

"Thanks, Barry," he whispered as he passed him on the way up to Mick. Barry had no idea what had happened between those two, but he knew it was best for him to stay out of it. Still, he felt a little pang as he watched Len hurry up to Mick, restraint melting away in his eagerness to see his partner. His crush on those two was mostly terrible, like a half-baked idea he planned on doing anyways. But, during a month that has been mostly terrible for Barry, they were a part of the bits that weren't.

"Bar, you wanna practice one more time?" Cisco asked through a mouthful of popcorn. Luckily, Caitlin was there to translate. He sighed, knowing there was no getting out of it. Besides, it would keep him from checking on Mick and Len, poking his nose where he shouldn't be.

Barry launched into his presentation on the importance of Horatio, as a minor character, to the plot of Hamlet. About halfway through though, Caitlin gets a call and motions for Barry to keep going as she walks away. Barry knows it's Ronnie by the way Caitlin smiles as she leaves the living room. Oh, what he wouldn't give to have a phone call interrupt what he can only call the 'filler' portion of his presentation. Cisco really deserved a muffin basket or something, this was probably the fifth time he listened to Barry's presentation and he'd only looked at his phone once. Seriously, he deserved a medal. Barry finished with a bit of a flourish, bowing when Cisco clapped.

"That was definitely the best time. See? All you had to do was stop thinking so hard about it!" Cisco got up with the now empty bowl of popcorn and headed to the kitchen. If only he knew that his problem was not being able to think at all-- he felt his eyes drawn to the stain on the carpet again. Just as he heard the water in the kitchen turn on, Barry also heard footsteps on the stairs. He watched as Mick and Len made their way down, heads close together. Barry watched longingly, big puppy eyes and all. When Cisco re-entered the room he gave him a knowing look.

"We're gonna head out, thanks for letting me crash here Barry," Mick's low voice rumbled warmly. He even gave a bit of smile. Barry's cheeks warmed at the sight of Len and Mick so happy. Guess they made up, or whatever it was they did.

"Of course guys, anytime," Barry grinned but his heart wasn't in it. It really seemed like everyone had someone except him. Caitlin and Ronnie. Len and Mick. Cisco was his only comfort, the only other single guy in their friend group. But, he wasn't about to have the Mick/Len talk with him.

He gave a little sigh as soon as he heard the front door click shut, pointedly avoiding Cisco's gaze.

"I think I'm going to go ahead and crash, Hamlet really wears a guy out," Barry chuckled halfheartedly. He was such a liar. Cisco could tell too, but he was cool enough to let Barry get away with it this time.

Upstairs, Barry flopped onto his bed. _It's only 10:30_ , he thought with frustration. He could hear Caitlin's side of the phone call through the wall. No matter how quiet she tried to be it was like she couldn't help but be loud when talking to Ronnie. Barry knew that if he could, he'd be that loud about how much he cared about Len and Mick too.


	2. Summerboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song - Summerboy by Lady Gaga (took inspiration loosely)
> 
> Len's POV, he meets Barry for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if there are any blaring mistakes, also I apologize in advance. Thanks for reading!
> 
> minor edits: 8/27/17

Summerboy/I Don’t Give a Damn About My Bad Reputation

2014, 4 Weeks Before Classes Begin at University of Central City

 

Iron Heights Prison

 

 

_Leonard Snart used to wonder if he was always meant to end up in prison. On days like these, especially these, he thought that maybe it was just in his blood. He didn’t want to believe he was looking at his future, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t realized that the odds were against him. With a now sealed record of priors and a stint in Juvie, he knew just what was at risk. Len had promised himself that this was the last time he would visit his father at Iron Heights. Next time they’d both be on the outside, and Len will have made something of himself. It was hard to justify how much Len valued his father’s opinion of him— he was in a jumpsuit for fucks sakes._

 

_“You bring me any cash? I owe a few guys in ‘ere, Lenny,” Snart Sr. barked a laugh. Len wanted to laugh too— he barely had enough money to keep him and his sister afloat, let alone to also feed his father’s gambling problem._

 

 _“You’ll have it when I get my next paycheck, we’re going to be a little tight this year_ Pops _,” Len shrugged, avoiding specifics. Money was always tight. He didn’t owe this man anything, more so now that he had gotten caught, leaving him to raise his little sister_ and _go to college on his own. Filling out his FAFSA had been a pain in the ass._

 

_“What? You mean you aren’t doing what I taught ya? Family business’ll keep you good,” his father didn’t look angry or surprised that Len hadn’t initiated a ‘project’ himself. Their family was a bunch of thieves, but that didn’t mean that Lisa and he had to accept it. “As long as I get my money, I don’t care,” his father looked like he wanted the visit to be over— now that there was no there wasn’t any money in it. Len didn’t let that sting him; his father had always been one-track minded. He didn’t know it then, but he’d made a decision: his father wasn’t going to get a cent. He could gamble away his life for all Len cared._

 

_He waved to the guard, signaling that he was ready to leave. They didn’t hug, they didn’t even spare a breath for any parting words. Len was at peace._

 

_—_

 

Orientation Week

 

 _He didn’t think that it was going to be such a big deal. College. It was a big step, especially for a Snart, and God he almost felt special. Receiving a full ride and acceptance to the honors college has been so much more than he had hoped for. And then there was Lisa, he would still be able to take care of her_ and _go to school. It was like a miracle. He didn’t want to jinx it._

 

_He could feel the opportunity in his hands, could see where it would take him. Len was almost free._

 

_After a ton of embarrassing ice-breaking exercises, the orientation groups were finally disbanded. They were herded into the giant UCC basketball stadium and told to have a seat anywhere. There were floor-to-ceiling windows on the west and east walls. Afternoon light filtered in through the (no doubt reinforced) glass panes; it drew all eyes purposefully to center court. Printed there was a massive tiger. The seats were filling up slowly as the majority of the class of 2018 regrouped. He looked at the clock and decided he probably had enough time to take a leak and get back. Len backtracked out of the auditorium and went down some long halls before he found what he was looking for. He opened the door tentatively. It was quiet. God, even the fucking bathrooms were better than their parent’s old house. What the fuck._

 

_He paused when he heard a muffled sound coming from one of the stalls. He really wanted to just take a piss and get out of there —before he was lost forever in the shine of the marble floors— but he had the strangest sense that something was wrong. Years of looking out for his sister told him to stay._

 

_“Hello?” Len didn’t move from where he stood by the sinks. There was a definite, audible sniff from one of the stalls further down. Someone cleared their throat._

 

 _“Yeah, man?” A quiet, tired voice came from the stalls. Len knew how to deal with little sisters, but_ guys? _His own age? Forget about it. Len sighed quietly, hoping this would be quick but knowing that he would stay even if it wasn’t._

 

_“Everything alright?” He kept his voice even, calm. What this kid needed to do right now was breathe, judging by the nervous tapping._

 

_Trying not to let exasperation take over, Len approached the offending stall and its occupant. The tapping stopped abruptly at the sound of Len’s approaching footsteps. Len could only see shadows but it sounded as though somebody was scrambling to their feet. Then the lock clicked and out stepped the saddest looking kid he had ever seen. He was tall, almost as tall as Mick, but absolutely scrawny in comparison. He wore a loose t-shirt and jeans that, surprisingly, covered most of his gangly legs. There was a hole in the knee of it._

 

_It looked as though the other boy was about to turn and bolt, but Len opened his mouth before he could stop himself, “wait, are you crying?” He cringed the moment the words left his mouth._

 

 _“I- I’m not crying,” the other boy whipped around to look at Len. Despite claiming otherwise, the kid’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears._ A technicality, _Len supposed._

 

_Len wanted to crawl under a rock. And he still really needs to use the restroom._

 

_A dark expression came over the other team's face, one that didn’t sit quite right. It was a front.“Why do you care? I’m just a stranger,” the words were spat out forcefully, but Len could tell the venom was fake, just a defense. Len put his hands up, surrendering._

 

_“Hey, man, I guess I’m just a little brainwashed. Y’know this school does push the whole ‘sense of family and community’ thing pretty hard,” Len laughs, but it’s more air than sound. This time Len turned to leave, he was going to have to find another bathroom in the little time he had remaining to get back to the stadium._

 

_“I’m sorry,” the words were barely audible. “I’m not-“ he continued, a little louder, “I’m not usually such an asshole.”_

 

_“Oh, really?” Len felt a smile overcome his face as he turned to look at the gangly kid in surprise._

 

_Then the kid did something he wouldn’t have been prepared for in a million years. He smiled, and put his hand out to shake, saying, “I’m Barry Allen.”_

 

_It was like looking at the fucking sun. He felt his whole body flush, suddenly embarrassed, and fought the urge to escape to another bathroom. One not filled with sunshine and an all-encompassing awkwardness that was both mortifying and endearing._

 

_“Leonard Snart,” Len stuck out his hand to grasp Barry’s._

 

_—_

 

1 Week Until Classes Start, At Home

 

_“Did the cheerleaders perform? Did you get to meet the mascot? Lenny! This is important!” Lisa was on the couch, pen and pad in hand. At the ripe age of thirteen, she was currently in a phase in which she was obsessed with one thing. It had to be cheerleading, of course, because there was no better way to torture her older brother._

 

_Len sighed. Loudly. He was sitting at the counter with his class schedule laid out. He was really glad they let him live off campus but a little disappointed that he couldn’t opt for the student apartments. They were way nicer than the apartment that he and Lise shared now. He knew it was because they didn’t allow non-students/faculty to live on campus, but Len had kind of hoped they’d make an exception for his little sister._

 

_“Lenny! Len, Len, Len. The doooooor,” called Lisa obnoxiously from her, now upside-down, position on their ratty old couch. Len couldn’t even hear the door over her constant chatter. He loved her but… Well, he really couldn’t complain. She was the only thing that had kept him from going completely off the rails when their dad was first arrested._

 

_He opened the door to a familiar face,“ Mick, I didn’t know you were coming by-“ he didn’t get to say much else because he was immediately crushed in a hug._

 

_The other man smelled like gasoline and car grease. It was comforting._

 

_“Hi,” Mick mumbled against his shoulder. Len glanced at Lisa— she was watching youtube videos on his laptop. Completely distracted. He took the opportunity to press his mouth briefly against Mick’s. It was barely a kiss, more of a familiar greeting. Mick almost smiled._

 

_“Ah, do you think I could talk to you real quick?” Mick looked suddenly nervous. It was an odd emotion for Mick to have, as he generally really couldn’t care less what others thought of him. Len nodded and led him into the tiny hallway that branched off into his room. He spared one last glance at Lisa, who was still completely immersed in the world of cheerleading._

 

_“What is it? Is everything alright?” He knew he should just let Mick speak but his mouth worked faster than his brain. Even then, he was going a million miles an hour trying to figure out what had Mick so worked up. Mick shrugged, the lines of his shoulders tense. He gripped his coat in his hands, nearly wringing it._

 

_“You remember when you said that I could always stay here… if I wanted or, or needed?”Mick’s knuckles were white. He was silent a moment, bracing himself._

 

 _“I got evicted, Len. They didn’t even let me get my stuff. They locked me out and left all my things in bags, by the dumpsters, like it was trash. I was able to save my clothes and stuff but—“ Mick looked distraught. Those_ bastards.

 

_“Of course you can stay here, hell you can live here,” Len blinked as he realized his own words. He was planning on making it way more romantic than that. He was at least going to ask over dinner. Holy shit._

 

_Mick’s eyes grew wide. It was too late to take it back or think about romancing. It was now or never._

 

_“I- I mean, do you wanna move in? With me? For good, Mick?” His words were noticeably stilted, but they got the point across. He ran a hand over his close-cropped hair nervously. Mick seemed to be at a loss for words. So he just nodded. The way they fit together was against all odds, melting into each other’s arms like lava until any space between them disappeared._

 

_—_

 

Midterms

 

 _He was rushing. He knew he was rushing._ What the hell was I thinking? _Len thought to himself angrily. There was no way he was going to be able to pick up Lisa from cheer practice, then Mick at the shop,_ and _be able to put together dinner in time! He felt like a soccer mom. He was far too young to be a soccer mom._

 

_Len was a blur, rushing down the stairs of Wells Science Hall. He was on his way towards the door when he ran into something solid. And bony._

 

_“Snart?” He glanced up at the familiar voice, adjusting his glasses. Shit! He’d forgotten to take off his glasses._

 

_“Barry?” He had run into none other than Barry Allen— the gangly boy who was crying in the bathroom during orientation. He would probably be mortified to be remembered that way, but Len could never forget how he smiled even with tears still in his eyes. Momentarily rendered speechless, he watched helplessly as Barry’s hands reached out awkwardly as if to check for damage. He seemed to think better of it though, as his hands fell lamely to his sides. Wise choice._

 

_“I’ve never seen you here before,” Snart started slowly, “do you and I share any classes?” It was weird seeing the kid again, he was a little more cleaned up. Dry eyes and everything. He was taller if that was at all possible._

 

_“Nah, um class ran a little late today, maybe that’s why?” Barry scratched his neck awkwardly. He seemed caught between wanting to smile and wanting to run away._

 

_“…late…” Len repeated, oh so literately, “Late! I’m going to be late picking up my- Mick!” He rushed forwards again, making his way towards the door, before remembering it was rude to knock into someone and run away._

 

_He turned abruptly, “I’m sorry for running into you! It was good to see you again,” Len gave him a wave before trying to leave again. He only made it as far as the bottom of the steps when Barry came barreling after him._

 

_“Hey, wait up!” Barry rounded in front of him, effectively blocking his path. Barry’s eyes were wide like he was surprised that he’d run after Len. “Um,” he blinked a little dumbly._

 

_Len raised his eyebrows, but it did nothing to help Barry’s clamoring mind._

 

_“I was just going to ask if you wanted to— um. To hang out sometime?” It was a perfectly innocuous question, but it irritated Len to no end. He was in a hurry, and no matter how cute this boy was, he was not about to be late to pick Lisa up again. He had learned his lesson. That and Mick might make dinner_ ~~if he begs~~ _if he picks him up in a timely manner. And cleans the dishes. Anyways, that’s beside the point. He needs to get going. Now._

 

_“Hey, I don’t wanna be rude,” Len watched as Barry’s expression fell (his disappointment was almost palpable), “… but I’m late, so here’s my number,” Len finished before he could change his mind. It was just a friendly hang out. He could probably even invite Mick along, just to put his conscience at ease if anything else. It’s not a crime to find someone attractive. Len would know._

 

 _“Okay,” Barry grinned. He was like an open book— smiling when he was happy, and pouting when he was sad? That’s just ludicrous._ And adorable, _his brain supplied unhelpfully. He wrote his name and number on a slip of paper that Barry handed him quickly. He passed it back soon after, anxious to be on his way, although a part of him wanted to just take Barry with him. He wondered, what was Barry doing for Thanksgiving? What was his major? Was he Barry’s type?_

 

_He shook his head, clearing away the intrusive curiosity. Barry waved goodbye, smiling, note in hand. Len felt a pang in his chest then, knowing instinctively that that smile didn’t bode well for his future sanity._

 


	3. Silly Love Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration was taken from Silly Love Songs (by Paul McCartney and Wings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made some minor edits to fix the timeline and make it less fuzzy.

September 2017, Junior Year

 

His palms were sweaty. If he thought about it too much he could hear, or he thought he could hear, the sound of his heart ramming against his rib cage. _Oh God, this is worse than my speech about Hamlet,_ thought Barry. He’d started off strong: name, the title of presentation, thesis. Got it all in nearly one breath too. He was trying to round off his conclusions but the longer he spoke the more he felt as if all his findings were absolutely ridiculous. Barry kept glancing at the exit, avoiding all eyes. The walls were closing in. There were coffee stains spattering his index cards.

 

“Thank you, Mr. Allen. You may have a seat,” Joe told him softly. Professor Joe West, his foster father, his criminology instructor. He nodded awkwardly before returning to his seat. 

 

—

 

The bell tinkled quietly overhead as Barry entered Jitters. Iris waved him over to a table immediately, two coffees already sitting in front of her. 

 

He was relieved just at the sight of her. Barry had walked across campus in a daze, the rest of class had blown by rather innocuously— much to his relief. He worried his thumb at the lip of his coffee mug, unable to shake off the day.

 

“Barry? Barry,” Iris snapped her fingers in front of his face. He grimaced inwardly. “What’s going on?”

 

“Criminology presentation,” Barry mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee then proceeding to add three packages of sugar to it.

 

“That bad, huh?” Iris smiled sympathetically as Barry opted for a fourth sugar. He was always the first to admit to having a bit of a sweet tooth when upset. Barry sighed.

 

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, trying to scrounge up a smile, “how’s your day going then?” 

 

The only time they really got to talk was during their coffee meet-ups, and it always calmed him down to listen to people speak. Even strangers sometimes. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it helped him distract himself to focus on someone else. Barry enjoyed picking out words, phrases, and gestures that were unique to each person. He let the words slow his heart and mind until he forgot how his body betrayed him to his anxieties. 

 

Iris began with how a friend from work received a big promotion, which she seemed genuinely happy about. Then she detailed the lunch she’d had with Eddie, about which she seemed less happy, and more carefully contained about. He listened quietly, already feeling the leftover knot of anxiety untangling in his chest.

 

“We said ‘I love you’, Barry,” Iris blurted

 

“That’s- That’s amazing Iris, I’m really happy for you,” Barry grinned. He wasn’t shocked by the admission. Iris and Eddie had been in love for as long as he could remember— it was how it had always been. What was more surprising was that it took them so long to realize it. Barry was happy for her, knowing very well that love really wasn’t something you found every day. 

 

 Iris dropped her gaze to her nearly empty coffee mug, a flush spreading across her face.

 

“I love him, Barry,” she shrugged a little helplessly. When she glanced back up at him they shared a little laugh. She was so beautiful in love. Barry had calmed somewhat when he realized something that jumpstarted his pulse again.

 

He’d never been in a serious enough relationship to warrant the “L” word. Sure, he’d dated, but who hadn’t at 20? Barry wanted what Iris had. Badly. His little crushes on Mick and Len were getting out of hand if he was daydreaming about dating them both at the same time. But, Barry couldn’t get them out of his head. From the moment he had met Len at orientation Barry knew that he was doomed. Befriending him was definitely the source of Barry’s bad-luck. He had just meant to say hi and was more than surprised that Len had remembered him at all.

 

Barry loved and hated the way his heart felt as though it was on a rollercoaster every time Len looked at him— the world felt like it dropped out from beneath his feet. 

 

And Mick. 

 

He hadn’t known who Mick was to Len when he had first met him. It was so casual and random. Mick had needed help with a paper, but the writing center at the library was closed. Barry had just been at the right place, at the right time, to help him. Finding out that Mick was taken by none other than Len was like getting punched in the gut. The Universe hated him— he just knew it. 

 

When Barry finally calmed down enough to remember himself, he caught Iris giving him an odd look. She made as if she were going to comment, but luckily the bell jingled as someone else entered Jitters.

 

“Iris? Hi! How are you?” Caitlyn’s voice called across the shop, positively effervescent. Which meant—

 

“Hi Iris,” came Ronnie’s voice, “Barry,” they exchanged a smile and a nod when Barry turned around to look at him.

 

“I haven’t seen you in for _ever,_ what have you been up to?” Caitlyn sat down next Iris as they began to chat. And in that moment Barry was eternally grateful that Caitlyn loved Jitters too. Ronnie dutifully went to go order their drinks, so Barry just sat and listened quietly to the animated chatter of the two women. 

 

Barry was pretty on edge by the time Eddie arrived— he had a warm smile, as usual, but it was most tender when it fell on Iris. He took this opportunity to offer Eddie his seat, and make a mad dash for the exit. He shook hands firmly but swiftly with Ronnie and Eddie and offered a hug to each of their better-halves. He was out of Jitters like a bat out of hell, the warmth of young couples in love licking at his heels like flames. 

 

His heart was pounding— _this is not a big deal,_ he kept telling himself. But all he could keep thinking was: _I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone._

 

It began to rain as he made his way back home. He didn’t bother calling a cab; he needed the fresh air. He couldn’t help but notice every single couple he passed by. They were laughing, hugging, enjoying the moment together. Barry felt a pang in his heart every time. You’d think that he’d get tired of torturing himself, but honestly, he wouldn’t ever get tired of seeing others in love. It was such a pure, unadulterated form of humanity. He just didn’t have it in him to be jealous when it came down to it— sure, he wanted it for himself, but why couldn’t everybody just share a little? 

 

Barry shook his head, trying to get rid of his silly thoughts as if that simple motion could wipe away years of wishing for something that had been in front of him the entire time.

 

—

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
